I do not care for my name. That's the truth. I cringe sometimes when I hear it and I would rather have someone just call me 'hey you'. Mom, Grandma and Honey are all much better ways of getting my attention and make me feel so good. My name makes me feel as though someone said it by mistake. I wish I could change it.
My name is Rebecca. Rebecca Jean. Now, the only time I ever heard Rebecca Jean was when I was in trouble and the only time I use Rebecca is when I have to fill out paperwork or sign a check. It always had such a formal feeling to it and I didn't like that because I was that scabby-kneed kid with glasses who always had a stain on whatever I was wearing. Not formal at all. When I was little I always thought formal meant white gloves and clean white anklets folded over just so. And no scuffs on my shoes. I was so not that. Oh, maybe for a little bit...one morning a week when we all went to church where I somehow became rumpled before we got home. There are old black and white photos of me in a clean crisp dress with tidy braided pigtails and socks that are folded over just so but I'm sure I only stayed that way for a minute after the picture was taken. I was Becky. Becky-Wecky. Becky-Homecky. Beck-ra. And Beck. The kid with the scabby, knobby knees.
I don't like Becky either. It has such a harsh tone to it and I'm not a harsh person. I may be cranky but I'm not harsh. My name has points. And Becky sounds like a kid's name. Like Bobby or Betsy. I'm an old lady now with a little kid's name and I'm still not formal enough to be called Rebecca. I've had some people, adults who should know better, make fun of my name. Actually...they made fun of the fact that I went by Becky instead of Rebecca. When I was that little snot-nosed kid there were kids who made fun of my name just because they could. It rhymed with so many odd things. Becky Pecker comes to mind. And because I was a seamstress for most of my life I got Becky-Homecky.
I would like a plain name, please. A name that sounds good for a little girl and also sounds good for an adult. Like Jean. Or Anne. A name you can sing The Name Game to. Jean, Jean, BoBean....Just try that with Rebecca or Becky. It sounds crazy and sometimes kind of naughty. Oh, I am kind of naughty occasionally but really....I could also be a little naughty and be named Anne.
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